Access Denied.

...And in the left corner - weighing in at 120 pounds - it's me!

Today was 'day one' at the college - and it almost went without a hitch. Almost. Firstly, using my charming good looks and charisma (or lack thereof) - I was able to excuse myself from lesson a little early to go and get changed so I wasn't walking around the college campus in a suit. I headed down the long empty corridor with my clothes in hand. Remembering the odds of the girl's hockey team catching me getting changed there immediately removed the option of stopping - instead, I picked the nearest toilet.

Firstly, I'm 6'1'' - and so not the smallest of people to walk the planet. Getting changed in a cubicle which was about 4 foot by 4 foot in terms of floor space (without factoring in the annoying toilet that seemed to get in the way of my mission) turned out to be a slow, painful experience. Sure enough, every time I hit my elbow, arm, foot or leg against a part of the cubicle - I let out a short grunt of pain. Unfortunately, the other "guests" of the toilet didn't know that the only thing I was doing was getting changed - and so may have felt slightly unnerved to hear a teenager make a series of grunting noises in a locked toilet cubicle. By far, however, the worst part was when I removed my shoes - and placed my socked foot on the floor. I was greeted with a very sticky texture - which to this very moment I dare not recall as I do not want to know what it was. Ever.

Getting into the college was a walk in the park. Everything was fine. Our teacher was waiting for us by the main entrance, which to my great relief removed the odds of getting lost and ending up resorting to eating my own work books, and cannibalism as hunger and insanity set in. Now, security in this day and age is very important - so I understood why my old student ID badge was replaced with a new one that unlocked doors to the various places I was meant to access. However, this new system did cause the only disadvantage in today's journeys.

About two hours into lecture, my bladder informed me it was time to go to the loo. Immediately. I had a rough idea of where the loos were - and it was also to be my first opportunity to use my new ID badge to open the doors which led to toilets. As I headed out of the lecture room, it became apparent that time was running out - which lead to a very brisk walk down a packed corridor, which led to all manner of funny looks. So there I was, in front of two big locked doors. I delved my hand into my pocket to grab my wallet, and ID badge - and waved the aforementioned badge frantically in front of the box-thing on the wall. Nothing happened. I knew that if that door didn't open in the next 10 seconds, I would have no choice but to leave the janitor a surprise in his bucket. Just when I was about to give up, I flipped my ID badge over - and to my astonishment, I was using last years badge! With the speed of a hypothetical bullet being hypothetically fired from a metaphorical gun - I removed my wallet again, found the correct card - and felt comforted by the satisfying "click" the door made as it unlocked. From then on, all was well.

In addition, I am currently as nervous as a solider about to jump out a burning plane at 20,000ft who has forgotten to pack his parachute. Reason? Well, Number one - those men down my road look mighty shifty. Number two - I have my driving test tomorrow.

Read tomorrow's post to find out how I do!
Peace.

PS. The college has places you can buy coffee. I smile upon this. Coffee is the staple of modern society.